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Jr. Mod: 17 Jul 2010 6:57 pm PDT
Mod: 20 Mar 2011 1:20 pm PDT
I wanted to sneak this in somewhere where I know nobody will notice. I wanted to explain my drop in activity and get some things off of my chest.
After high school, I'm sure you guys really noticed that afterwards I started to drift away from these forums. That's because for the longest time, I was dancing with both death's door and depression. For starters, I had made the foolish mistake of letting feelings take over my life. I let that carry me around and focused on what I had perceived was the love of my life for a while. Even so much as approaching marriage with the person. Obviously, that burned out and finally exposed another big issue haunting my life. I was depressed, I was even to the point of being suicidal. The person who looked over me and spoke with me was also someone very toxic. They pushed me forward into killing myself, almost to a point of being successful. My life had been tormented by this man and he continued to do so until my very mind snapped. The only real reason I can happily make this post is partly in due to a bullet jam. Otherwise, I'm sure you'd come across me in some obituary someday. Well, after this whole fiasco and the beginning of my self-improvement. I was diagnosed with cancer. I won't get into the specifics of it, but through a lot of hard work I was able fight through and survive. Hoping that I would never have to deal with this again, I decided to take a healthier approach to life for a while. Focusing on healing my body and strengthening it so that my cancer could never return. Even now, health is still a major importance for me regardless of how bad I have been slacking these past few months. Through my life of torment since I had left college, rather graduated high school. I knew that this life was something that was never going to be easy again. I did at least want to thank those that had been there for me in the beginning. Those that comforted me and gave me companionship as I made my path to adulthood. Thank you slix, pira, Aquil, asha, oc, platinum attack, jolt, choco, missy, and even chase. Those of course that I had missed as well I thank. I do apologize for not really remembering your name. Its difficult to remember anyone who wasn't online all day by the time I returned home. Pira, I'll see you IRL someday and I look forward to it. Aquil, I'm always here for you. There is no chance that I could ever be a permanent member to this or any server right now. So I wanted to end the hope that smeel is coming back. He's not. Nor is ostrid, nor is ostrider. Take a drink, my friends. And watch the night burn.